The Life And Times
by TwitchPotter
Summary: There are a lot of professions in the Wizarding World - but what about those who decide to become teachers? Are we really going to let these young inexperienced adults be responsible for the education and safety of our children? Of course not - not without some experience! Raising a child for 4 years ought to do it! This will be interesting... Rated M for language
1. Being Claire

"Which road do you choose?" The giant purple gummy bear asked Claire. She looked back and forth - one path was paved with chocolate, the other surrounded by trees of cotton candy. Tough choice, especially when-

"CLAIRE! Jesus, you sleep like a log!"

Claire woke violently from her sugar-filled sleep to the sound of her roommate yelling.

"Cynthia, what did I ever do to you. What on earth have I done to deserve this much twerp-osity at... What time is it?" Claire muttered, snuggling deeper into the black satin sheets.

She heard loud footsteps, then the angry huffing and puffing of Cynthia Finnegan from right above her head. Removing her face from her oh-so-comfy pillow, she looked up to see the indignant blonde glaring at her while holding out her phone.

"What's your prob- HOLY HELL it's almost nine!"

"My _problem_ is that your _idiotic_ men have been irritating the _Merlin_ out of me for the last twenty minutes because _you_ didn't meet them at eight thirty, as you promised. God forbid you not show up on time. " Cynthia rolled her eyes then headed out the door of the seventh year Slytherin girls dorm.

Claire chuckled as she rolled out of bed - typical morning for her. The boys causing a fuss, bothering Cynthia until she agreed to come wake her, Cynthia bitching endlessly about the stupidity of both the men and the situation. Sounded about right.

She moved quickly towards her wardrobe, getting dressed in her uniform as fast as possible. She was hungry from dreaming about all of that candy! She scrambled around her dresser for her hairbrush, then upon not finding it, searched for her robes. Upon not finding them, she decided it was going to be one of those days, grabbed her knapsack, and skidded downstairs to the common room.

"I'm alive, I'm here, I'm..."

"Barefoot?" Snarked the brunette laying upside down on the back of the couch.

"Typical Claire." Continued the blonde who was perched on the coffee table. "Luckily, you left everything you own in our room last night. Put on your hooker heels and let's go - I'm bloody starved, and my hot girlfriend is waiting for my gorgeous face."

"Shut up Scor- you aren't THAT attractive. And do you really expect me to go to breakfast in my clubbing shoes?"

JD rolled off the couch and threw the four inch black stilettos at his best female friend. "Wear the damn shoes, or take a lap. I'm hungry."

Claire quickly sat next to Scorpius and slipped them on, wishing she had picked a less obnoxious pair of heels to wear partying last night - so that she wouldn't have to go around looking like a tart all day.

"Claire, your weave... It's um..." JD fumbled for words, running his hands through his own short brown hair.

"I know, I can't find my hairbrush," she responded, rolling her eyes. "I'll just have to do a charm..." With the flick of her wand, her red locks were neatly curled, and her side-swept bangs straighter than a pin.

"There. A little much, but it ought to match the bloody shoes!" She joked with a grin on her china-doll face.

"You snooze, you lose, princess," JD smirked, putting Claire's robe over her shoulders.

"Shut up JD. Let's go - I can't deal with you prats alone this early in the morning. I need assistance. And coffee."

The three musketeers entered the Great Hall together, journeying to their usual spots at the Slytherin table. They had sat in those exact same seats since their friendship began second year - although they had quite a few additions over the years. First Cynthia - Claire's roommate and eventual friend, even though the two often squabbled. Then came Rochester - Rocky for short - a Hufflepuff one year below them. She was sweet as sugar, a little oblivious, and usually pretty entertaining to be around. Then in sixth year, Rose had joined them - she and Scorpius had decided to spend Breakfast at Slytherin table and Lunch at Gryffindor. Add on a few random kids here and there, and that was the average place setting.

"Bacon is a miraculous invention," JD murmured as he sat down in front of a huge platter. Claire acknowledged him with a slight nod - she _really_ needed coffee, right here, right -

A cup of coffee with a ridiculous amount of cream was set right in front of her nose.

"It's like you KNOW," Claire joked, turning to see her best friend Rocky plop down next to her. "You are a saint among women. I adore you."

Rocky twirled her fingers through her sleek black ponytail. "I know you do. Now drink up and get happy!" She smiled, pouring her sacred Fruit Loops cereal into an enormous bowl.

"Good morning everybody! How are you all? Excited for our last week of school? Merlin knows, I am!"

As soon as the words left Rose Weasley's mouth, JD's head hit the table with a resounding thud.

"What? Was it something I said?"

"No honey, you're just a _little_ too perky for a table of sleepy Slytherins on a Monday morning," Scorpius soothed his confused girlfriend, patting the bench next to him for her to sit down.

"Oh," the chipper Gryffindor nodded in understanding, then grabbed a spoonful of scrambled eggs. "Morning Claire!" She exclaimed, trying again to make conversation.

"Morning Rose," She answered the poor girl with a small smile. JD's head snapped up.

"What is this! We get bitch-bitch-bitch and Rose gets a nice happy greeting? I disagree!"

"That's because I'm prettier than you," Rose interjected with a smirk, high-fiving Claire across the solid oak table.

"Damn straight you are," Scor grinned. "I have to wake up to his disgusting face every morning."

"Hey Scor?" Claire pondered, slowly chewing on her watermelon. "You know that JD's hotter than you, right?"

The lean blonde leapt up from his seat, throwing his hands down on the table. "SO not TRUE! Everyone goes for the Malfoy looks!"

Claire rolled her eyes. "Take a lap, _Malfoy_."

Scorpius's mouth gaped. "What the hell? Why?!"

"You're being a twat, it's _too_ damn early, and you made me wear my hooker heels. Take a bloody lap. Great hall. Go. Or I'll _seriously_ maim you."

Scor huffed, straightened, then began running a lap, all the way around the Great Hall, scowling and muttering at the celebratory cheers of his fellow schoolmates.

"Claire-bear, marry me."

"Sorry JD, brunettes just aren't my type."

"Hey Rosie, what's your boyfriend doing?"

Claire looked up from her sausage to see James Potter staring questioningly at Scor.

"Taking a lap. Claire gave it to him!"

Claire froze, staring at her fork.

"A lap?" James asked her in his smooth baritone voice.

"Typical Slytherin punishment for being stupid, obnoxious, and/or generally irritating." Claire answered James quietly, hating being put on the spot.

"_That's_ a fun thing," James snorted, then sat down next to Rose and started talking to her about something his mother had sent him in the post. Scorpius returned and began stuffing his face as if nothing had happened. Claire just stared at her food.

It wasn't that she didn't like James Potter.

She just... Didn't _know_ him. _At all_.

And the problem with that was the fact that after being in classes with each other for seven years, not to mention that her best friend had been dating his cousin for almost two years... She really SHOULD have known him. She had never bothered to be his friend - and that made her feel like a terrible human being, because he was always perfectly courteous to her. He just made her feel awkward. All the freaking time. Around her circle of friends, she was Claire - the confident, funny, sarcastic, talented Slytherin. Around James, and a majority of the school, she was Claire - the super nice, quiet, smart Sytherin who didn't really belong in her own house. It had always been that way, and quite frankly, she didn't know how to change it.

"Claire? You ready for class?" She looked up to see the rest of their group standing, JD holding her bag and looking at her like he could read her mind.

"Yeah, sorry, falling asleep," she quickly covered - JD and Scor were her best friends, but the three of them were also Slytherins, and they didn't discuss their _feels_ in public. They all exited the Great Hall together - Rose and Scorpius holding hands, walking behind James and Lily who were arguing loudly about something. Cynthia followed the lovebirds, having her daily bitch-fest with Albus Potter. Rocky skipped along beside them, humming along to a tune nobody else could hear - and she and JD brought up the rear.

JD grabbed her hand, swinging their arms back and forth like little kids on the playground.

"What is it with him, Claira?"

"Nothing," she blushed defensively, not looking him in the eye.

"Then why does he make you so nervous?" He muttered quietly in her ear as they reached the Defense classroom. He led the way to their assigned desk, not expecting an answer - which was good, because Claire didn't have one.

She didn't know _what_ it was about James Potter - she just wanted it to go away.

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Hi! Twitch here! So, I know you've heard this a million times before, but this is my very first story! I've been trying to write for about five years now and I've finally achieved it - so PLEASE REVIEW! Even if it's just a short one! Pretty please with sugar on top! I promise it will be a fun story ;)

With Love, Twitch


	2. The Three Musketeers

"Merlin, I hate homework. Have I ever mentioned that before?" JD groaned, closing his Charms textbook and pushing it carelessly off the coffee table onto the floor.

"I don't know, maybe once or twice, or _seven million times_. Maybe." Claire responded sarcastically, chucking one of her signature lead pencils in the general direction of his head.

"Well, obviously my hatred is passionate enough that I feel the need to remind you of it endlessly -"

"And my annoyance with you is passionate enough that I feel the need to make you take a lap!" Claire cut him off, smirking from her cross-legged perch on the top of the couch. Scorpius jerked up from his nap beneath her, almost falling off the couch in his eagerness. "Lap? Lap! Please make him take a lap! Come ON Claire-bear! I had to take one yesterday! IT'S ONLY FAI-mmph" Scorpius's rant cut off as Claire reached down and shoved a pillow directly into his mouth.

"You both are being prats - even more so than your usual level of Prat-ness. What's up?"

Scorpius lay back down on the couch dramatically. "We're bloody BORED! It's been CENTURIES since we did anything fun -"

"Less than 48 hours actually, but please continue," JD interrupted politely from his position on the floor.

"Regardless, I'm dying, so is JD, and you are making us actually do homework! It's the end of the freaking school year! We are graduating in 3 days! Why in the hell do you suddenly feel the urge to be studious?" Scorpius questioned Claire emphatically.

"Could it have anything to do with the fact that you don't want to talk to us about a certain boy, and the fact that you become a simpering idiot around him -"

"OI, I do NOT simper!"

"So you admit to the idiot part then?" Scorpius sat up and looked her right in the eye, smirking like the prat he was.

Claire sighed. As much as Scor seemed like the biggest moron on the face of the planet, he was quite perceptive - he just chose to hide it behind his childish antics and trademark smirks.

"James... Look, I just feel... Weird around him, that's all!" Claire held her hands up innocently and removed herself from the top of the couch with all the grace of a girl who had been studying dance since age three.

"Ooh, feelings! Are we going to also paint our nails and braid each other's hair?" Cynthia remarked as she walked down the stairs from the girl's dorms.

"Shut up, Cyn, no one likes you!" Scorpius shouted over the top of the couch, sticking his tongue out at the regal blonde.

"Thank Merlin they don't - if people liked me, then they would talk to me and annoy me incessantly, and who wants that?"

Claire pretended to look hurt. "But I talk to you!"

"Exactly," Cynthia winked and headed across the Slytherin common room, long black skirt swishing behind her.

"Where are you going, Cynthia?" Claire asked, smirking. Cynthia turned and glared ferociously. "None of your business, McKinley," she muttered, then turned on her heel and quickly exited through the portrait hole.

"So, do we think she's snogging Albus yet then?" JD asked, unable to resist new gossip on their bitchy friend.

"Who knows? They could be married with ten and a half children and we still wouldn't be able to tell, considering that all they ever do, and ever will do, is bitch and whine to each other."

"Ugh. They are both so miserable. I think they enjoy it." Scor said disgustedly. "But we don't have to be miserable, now do we?"

"Wait, we were harassing Claire!" JD looked at Claire, who was standing behind the couch like a deer in headlights.

"Damn. I thought you forgot. Okay, let's get it out of the way."

"Why does James Potter make you nervous?" JD asked, leaping onto the couch and bouncing on his knees like an excited child.

"He makes you BLUSH. Which is quite a step, considering that you practically live with the two of us!" Scor added, grinning wildly.

"He... I... OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOULD YOU TWO HOLD STILL!" She shouted, the boys freezing mid-bounce and staring at her, marginally terrified.

"The reason that James Bloody Potter makes me nervous is because I've managed to know him for seven years and yet not be friends with him. For seven whole years, the two of us have smiled, made small talk, and gone our separate ways without ever once attempting to be friends. So I feel awkward around him, because I really don't know why in the hell I never tried to be his friend, and I don't know why he doesn't seem to hate me for that!"

Claire was met with a few seconds of stunned silence.

"Well, contrary to popular belief, you AREN'T the center of the universe..." JD finally said.

"That's not what I mean. If any other person - say, if Rose had never once tried to be friends with me - Had never gone out of her way to say hi, or expressed a desire to get to know me... I would be extremely pissed! When you are around a person for a while, when your friends are friends with their friends, you tend to be friends with that person. So why did I never try and be friends with James, and why doesn't he hold that against me?" Claire explained, exasperated but also glad to finally tell the boys what had been going through her head.

Scorpius and JD exchanged a look. "The way I see it Claire," Scorpius began, "it takes two people to make a friendship - and two people to completely and totally fuck one up."

"Scor's right, Princess. Yeah, you suck for not being friendly, but he sucks just as much. So don't blame yourself, yeah?"

Claire smiled. They were her boys - she knew that, as stupid as they could be, they would always have her back.

"Okay, I see your point. Now. Since I'm not trying to avoid you any more, let's stop with all this homework nonsense, and start being normal again!" She joked - all three of them were very intelligent, but not very concerned with doing actual work, such as homework and class notes.

"Right then! I have an idea!" Scor proclaimed, rubbing his hands together and jumping off the couch.

"NO!" His two best friends shouted simultaneously.

"What? Why? You haven't even heard it yet!" He protested, pouting at their rejection. JD looked at Claire, who sighed, then gestured for him to continue.

"THANK you," he nodded pompously." Where was I - okay, so, we have three days left of school, yeah? And how many houses are there at Hogwarts? Rhetorical question! Four! But we only need three days, so you can subtract the one, which leaves us with three houses, and three days! Which is perfect, since we obviously wouldn't prank ourselves - although that would be a good cover! Eh, I suppose we don't have to worry though since we are graduating and everything, as long as no one gets seriously maimed or dead then we really ought to be alright. So sound good then?" Scorpius finished, breathing heavily and beaming.

"What does it say about us that we actually understood all of that?" Claire dead panned.

"Probably that we spend waaaay too much time with this git," JD responded, getting off the couch. "Alright, so last three days of school, each day dedicated to pranking a specific house... Sounds incredibly stupid. Let's do it."

"WAIT," Claire shouted. "Rules - one, if I don't get my diploma I will kill both of you with a rusty spoon dug up from the grave of Filch himself." The boys winced. "Two..." A devious smirk appeared as Claire's Slytherin side came out. "Let's make it a war. We need to get troops. And a plan. And we only have three hours left until curfew, so I suggest we work fast." Grabbing her leather jacket and slipping her cowboy boots on over her Slytherin socks, she strode towards the door, leaving the boys behind, smiling in her wake.

* * *

Please Review! Please! Reviewers get virtual cookies and a smirk from Scorpius or JD - take your pick ;)


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